In the Back of My Mind
by Sparks Diamond
Summary: Jack has a nightmare that shakes him up so bad, he's forced to turn to the one person he knows cares about him. Jack/Katherine. One shot.


**AN: So wow, I haven't written any fan fiction in a really long time. It's been something like three years. And even then it was just a few one-shots. I didn't think I was going to write anymore fan fiction though I have been reading it. Reading a few stories on here inspired me to write this one-shot and I hope you guys like it. I haven't written for Newsies since I was a teenager and those were just unspeakably bad haha.**

 **I** _ **love**_ **Newsies. The movie has literally been a part of me since I was two years old (when it was released). Yes, I do feel quite old now haha. And the Broadway play—the best play I have ever seen and I saw it twice. Also, Dan DeLuca—so amazing! I would gladly see the play a million times more. Also, it's worth mentioning that the title is a nod to a Beach Boys song because that is my life right now.**

 **Anyways, I hope you guys like this, please review and let me know!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing that I'm supposed to say that I don't own.**

...

Jack couldn't recall ever feeling more at peace than he did when he was with Katherine. She brought something out in him and he wanted nothing more to bask in this feeling forever. No one had ever looked at him the way that she did or believed in him the way she had. To him, she was special, she was his Ace. He promised himself that he would never let her go.

"Y'know," he said, gently taking her hand in his and drawing her towards him, "you saved me. I don't think I'se could ever live without you."

Katherine abruptly pulled away from him. The scene around him stood still and it all began to come together. For the first time he noticed where he was. He didn't know how he never noticed the ugly, grey stone walls and the smells and sounds that had long since been pounded into his memory. It was the place where lives were ruined and souls were crushed. Things happened there that were too horrible to tell anyone else. The refuge was the worst place in the entire world and he and Katherine were standing in it.

Jack attempted to take a step towards her but he was forced backwards when the heavy barred door of a jail cell came sliding past him and locked into place. It trapped him in a dank cell and separated him from Katherine.

"What's goin' on?" he asked. Everything had suddenly gotten darker, colder. He reached out tentatively to touch the bars and when his fingers met the cold metal he jumped. They were real. This was real. His confusion turned to pleading. "Ace?"

This time when she looked at him, her expression had shifted from warm, glowing happiness to cold hard contempt. It stopped him short.

"I'm sorry, Jack," she said in a tone that was a far cry from her usual sweet and gentle one. She sounded like almost every other rich girl who gave him cold looks when he passed them in the streets. "My father was right. You are beneath me."

It was a knife in his heart, twisting and turning until there was nothing left but tattered shreds. The pain was physical and it radiated through his entire body, threatening to cripple him at any second. The voice in his head was already screaming _"I told you so"_ and he didn't have the strength nor the will to silence it.

"Ace—" he tried but she was gone. She glided out the door and out of his life just as fast as she came in and it left him feeling emptier than he had ever felt before. The heavy iron door slamming shut resonated within him. It was the nails in his coffin and the sealing of his fate.

A familiar sound coming from the darkness behind him made his blood turn to ice and his body stiffen.

He turned slowly, hoping that one of the things he feared most would disappear if he prayed hard enough. But as someone once told him, _God don't listen to prayers of gutter trash like us._ When he saw the evil eyes, the sneering face and the whip that dangled from an outstretched hand he stepped back involuntarily. His back hit the bars and he had nowhere to go. Fear gripped him like an icy hand and he found it hard to breathe.

"Mr. Kelly," rasped Warden Snyder, the resident of all his nightmares. "So good to have you back where you belong."

Jack wanted to say something. He wanted to snap back defiantly and tell Snyder to go to hell. But the ice gripped his throat and his voice failed him. All of his defiance, all of his anger and will to fight left when Katherine did. He was scared and helpless and weak and he didn't know what to do. The cell was closing in on him, Snyder took a menacing step towards him and now he really couldn't breathe.

"Turn around."

Jack didn't move. The world was coming down around him. He wanted to try and run but there was no escape.

Snyder snapped the whip so it hit the ground. The crack echoed through the small space and made Jack jump. With no resolve left, he did as he was told.

"Isn't it nice to be home?"

The words sent chills down Jack's spine. He gripped the bars tight and waited. He shouldn't be so scared; this practically used to be a daily occurrence at one time in his life. Repetition didn't make it any better or easier but only more painful and degrading.

Jack heard the whip sail through the air and he closed his eyes. It touched down with a sickening crack.

 _ **CRACK!**_

Jack bolted up in his bed, sweating and gasping for air. It took him a few moments of looking around wildly to realize that he wasn't in the refuge. He was in the Newsboys Lodging House, in bed; safe, sound and completely fine.

It was a nightmare. _Jesus Christ, it was just a nightmare._

He grabbed fistfuls of the sheets he was tangled in to ground himself. After a few minutes of listening to the familiar sounds around him—Racetrack's loud snoring, Romeo mumbling in his sleep, the faint ticking from someone's old watch—his breathing slowed and his heart stopped hammering in his chest.

"Hey Jack! Jack!"

Jack was pulled back into reality again by the hushed whispering. He looked in the direction of the voice. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust but soon he saw that it was Albert who called to him. He was sitting up in his own bed and looking questioningly at Jack.

Jack forced his voice to come out sounding calm. "Yeah?"

"You okay?" Albert asked sleepily. He scratched his head and yawned. "What time is it?"

"I'm fine," Jack replied. Maybe if he said it he would be. "It's early. It ain't time to get up yet. Go back to sleep."

Albert didn't need to be told twice and within seconds he was breathing evenly and halfway to dreamland.

 _Must be nice,_ Jack thought to himself with a sigh. The nightmare still hung around him like a dark cloud and sleep had eluded him. The need to be out in the open air seized him and he untangled himself from the sheets and gathering up his shirt, shoes and hat, quietly made his way out of the window and onto the fire escape.

In his penthouse on the roof, Jack felt a little bit better. The cool morning air felt good on his face and he found that he was already breathing easier. He had wanted to sleep up here the night before, as he always did, but the boys were worried that it'd be too cold during the night. When Crutchie joined in with the rest of them, Jack conceded and slept inside. The kid was a brother to him and he didn't want him to worry.

No one seemed to understand that he needed the open air and the sky above him to feel at ease. They tried to, of course, but they never reallydid. That's why he always dreamt of Santa Fe; everything big and open and free. His nightmare only proved further how easily freedom could be taken away.

Jack willed himself to stop thinking that way. The strike was over and Snyder was in jail where he belonged.

The Refuge was gone and he knew he would never have to experience that kind of suffering ever again. And he had too many reasons to stay in New York. He had Katherine.

 _Katherine..._

His heart stopped and started again as images from his nightmare ran through his mind yet again. The pain he had felt when she left him was worse than anything Snyder had ever done to him. He felt like it was happening all over again and for a moment he couldn't breathe again.

 _Stop!_ He mentally chided himself. _Youse acting like an idiot._ Nightmares were nothing; he used to have them almost every night. Most of the newsies did. No one talked about it but they all knew. Jack hadn't had a nightmare in a long time. And he was going to go out of his mind if he didn't shake this one off soon.

The sky was still dark; the sun wouldn't be up for a while yet. If he hurried he could do what needed to and be on time to meet the other newsies before the distribution office opened. Without another thought, Jack climbed down the fire escape and was on his way.

...

Katherine Plummer was a light sleeper by nature. It didn't matter if she had been asleep for five minutes or five hours, when she heard the slightest noise she was wide-eyed awake in a split second. It had caused her parents to become exasperated with her countless times when she was a child. Whenever they held one of their parties, she would always wake up and find her way to where any fun was to be had.

That morning wasn't any different. She was having the most wonderful dream about Jack Kelly, though she would deny it if anyone asked her. He had been in her head a lot lately and she wasn't complaining. She knew he felt the same way about her and the knowledge of that was enough to keep her happy.

A small noise from the fire escape outside of her bedroom window awoke her and she sat up in bed at once. She squinted to see through her thin curtains and she saw the shadow of a person. If it had been anyone else, their reaction would have been to scream or run. But Katherine, being the ever-curious journalist that she was, rose from her bed and moved towards the window to investigate.

She reached out slowly and pulled the curtain aside. She was met with the sight of Jack Kelly and her first reaction was her heart skipping a beat. But she soon became concerned when she took in his appearance. His curly brown hair was a mess under his hat and his shirt looked like he threw it on hurriedly; half-buttoned and half-tucked into the waistband of his brown pants. He looked tired and worried and his blue eyes were stormy and distracted.

"Jack?"

"Hey Ace, how's it goin'?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She glanced back at the clock on the wall. "At five in the morning?"

"I—uh—I'se just taking a stroll," he said."Thought I'd stop by." His attempt to sound like his usual self was half-hearted and she saw right through him.

Katherine realized quickly that she was standing before him in nothing but her white nightgown and she made an attempt to cover herself with the curtain. He didn't seem to notice. Now he was starting to worry her.

"Did something happen?"

Jack just shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged.

"Are the boys okay?"

"Yeah."

She was quickly becoming exasperated. "Are _you_ all right?"

Jack hesitated before finally shrugging again.

Katherine would have lost her patience by now, after all it was so early, but there was something in the way that he hesitated that caught her attention.

"Look, Jack," she began, "I can tell something is wrong. Why don't you just tell me?"

Jack thought about it for a moment. He did walk all the way to see her. It would stupid if he woke her up and then left without telling her why. But Jack wasn't one to talk, to anyone about anything. He kept himself guarded and for good reason. Everyone at one time or another was out to cheat him or mess with him or hurt him. Everyone except the newsies. Yet here was this girl, this perfect girl, who gave him hope and had made him feel something he never felt before. Even if his first instinct was to not say anything and run, she made him feel like he could tell her anything. And it scared the hell out of him.

Jack was as surprised as she was when the words came out of his mouth. "Could you maybe—umm—meet me on the roof?"

Katherine found herself nodding. "Sure, Jack."

He was grateful at first but soon enough the fear returned.

Five minutes later, Katherine was dressed in a simple blue dress and was huffing to herself as she climbed the fire escape to the roof. It was simply too early to be doing anything but sleeping.

Jack had his back to her and was quietly staring out onto the city. His expression was a faraway one and for a moment she felt bad about disturbing him. But her annoyance at being awake so early won out and she called out to him.

"Seriously, Jack, what is it with you and rooftops?" She made it onto the roof and walked over to him. "Why can't you sit on a nice park bench or something?" When he didn't turn around she looked into the direction he was staring. "What are you looking at?" All she saw were buildings and the Brooklyn Bridge in the distance.

"Ace," he said, finally turning to look at her. He was nervous and fidgety and he took off his hat to run a hand through his hair.

It was then she noticed that he had a cut above his eyebrow.

"Jack! What is that?"

She held out her hand toward his face but he flinched and moved a step away from her. She didn't take it personally. She knew how he could be sometimes. But she was still worried.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"The Delancies," he said simply. It was an acceptable answer. The Delancies were horrible men who made it their business to terrorize the newsies; Jack especially.

"Did they attack you?"

Jack shook his head. "I was walkin' home last night. Saw the Delancies pickin' on some newsie from Queens. They were drunk."

"And you stepped in." It wasn't a question but more of a matter-of-fact statement. Jack always stepped in. He couldn't stand when someone was picked on by people stronger than they were. Even more so when it was the Delancey brothers doing the picking.

"I fought 'em, yeah," Jack said. He leaned against the edge of the roof. "Morris caught me when I wasn't lookin'."

Katherine nodded and slowly moved towards him. She didn't want to risk scaring him off. When she leaned against the roof's ledge next to him and he didn't move away, she tried to prod him a bit further.

"Is that what has you so shaken up?"

Jack started to reply and then stopped halfway through a few times before he let one simple word escape his lips.

"No."

"All right then," she said evenly. "What happened?"

Jack couldn't hold it in any longer. The events of his nightmare hit him full force and he couldn't stop the words from pouring out of him. He told her about his nightmare, every detail. He had to look away when he told her about Snyder. He didn't want her to know about the things that were done to him but he knew that she needed to. After she had found his drawings and heard stories from some of the other newsies, he knew that she knew bad things had happened to him. But he never willingly told her and she never asked. Now that he had told her, he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

"Jack," she said softly. She put her hand over his. Her touch sent electricity through him. "Come on, look at me."

Jack reluctantly met her gaze and was genuinely surprised at what he saw. It wasn't the pity that he feared would be there or worse, the realization that he wasn't good enough for her. Instead, her gaze was loving and warm and filled with nothing but concern. There were tears in her eyes and he felt bad for making her cry.

"Jack, why would you think I'd ever do that to you?" she asked.

"I guess it's always been there," he said. "The feeling that I ain't good enough for you." As an afterthought he added, "Your Daddy sure thinks it."

"I don't care what my father thinks!" She couldn't hide the impassioned anger from her voice. "I care about you, Jack Kelly, and that's all there is to it!"

He had to laugh at her outburst. "That's what I love about you, Ace," he said. "Youse one crazy girl."

Katherine couldn't help but blush. "Jack," she said more seriously. "I don't want you to ever think you aren't good enough for me. Because you're better than anyone else in this whole world!"

"For sure?"

Katherine nodded. "For sure."

Jack grinned and it made her heart flutter. She would have given anything to have him smile like that.

Without another word, he leaned in and kissed her. It was the kind of kiss that set her entire world on fire and made every molecule in her body come alive. He finally pulled away and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. But she noticed that the sun had risen and that somewhere off in the distance, church bells were ringing.

"Jack Kelly," she said in a mock stern tone. "Don't you have papers to sell?"

Jack grinned again and stood. He looked down at himself and realized what a mess he looked like and tucked in his shirt. He fixed his hat and shot her his trademark smile. He headed towards the fire escape but stopped when he was halfway there. He turned back to look at Katherine.

"You know something, Ace?"

"What?"

"You saved me," he said. "I don't think I'se could ever live without you."

For a moment, he was filled with panic. What if what happened next was exactly like his nightmare? But he should never have doubted her for a second.

Katherine smiled back at him and said, "Me too, Jack." She felt giddy and light as everything she felt for him came to the surface. "Me too."

Jack turned around and continued on his way, grinning to himself. His nightmare was gone from his mind and replaced only with the feeling of sweet freedom.

….

 **AN: Okay, so how was that? I hope you guys enjoyed it. It was something I had kicking around in my head and I just had to write it. And you know, I'm actually kind of proud of it. Which is rare for me to say about my own writing. Anyways, please leave a quick review and tell me what you think!**

 **-Addie**


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